Drinks Manufacturers & The "21st Century Headache"

The Three Traditional Classes Of Headache Sufferers

EXCESSIVE LUXURY - There was a time as recently as the early 2000s, that issues such as persistent headaches were associated with the Developed World where there were more high-cholesterol edibles & expensive wines than the average person could healthily handle. Such people constituted the first class of headache patients: over-fed, boozy, hung-over individuals whose doctors repeatedly reminded them that they needed to get a purpose in life in order to cure the pain.

TENSION HEADACHES - The next in line were the high-achievers: individuals with several pressing responsibilities, high standards to measure up to & relatively few resources in terms of time & money to get the job done with. Their doctors advised them to "take it easy", but knowing that Life seldom gives such people that option, they prescribed medications such as analgesics & barbiturates to at least render the pain more manageable.

MIGRAINES - The third group were those saddled with a genetic susceptibility to what are known as migraine headaches. Globally, migraines affect approximately 1 billion people. American & European DNA is 5 to 10 times more likely to carry the "migraine gene" than African & Asian DNA. Migraines are generally treated with a combination of analgesics, caffeine & non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs).

The "21st Century Headache"

For lack of a better title, the "21st Century Headache" is a new phenomenon altogether. Unlike the ordinary varieties of the complaint, this headache works on the principles of profiling. It mostly affects intelligent, socially-adept, work-oriented, financial professionals under the age of 40. The symptoms are a severe roaming pain in the head & eyes, nausea & retching, simultaneous diarrhea & constipation & a slew of other completely idiosyncratic symptoms. There are no prodromal signs, the onset is sudden, the circumstances are random, the pain pattern & duration are unpredictable & the response to the afore-mentioned medications can range from no response at all to a response time of 3 to 36 hours. This phenomenon has been plaguing certain members of the population since about a decade in Pakistan. Doctors worth their salt generally prescribe Diazepam & bed rest for sufferers...& advise them to keep their fingers crossed that the treatment will actually work.

Most uninterested-in-anything-but-their-own-perspective health professionals mislabel this new complaint as the age-old migraine. But there is a reason that such a misdiagnosis can result in serious consequences: Caffeine is reportedly one of the treatment options for genuine migraines.

Caffeine Risks

The recent wave of reports in the world media about the deadly effects of a caffeine powder overdose has unsettled the majority of soft drink & energy drink consumers in the world. Suddenly those chilled colas & iced Red Bulls seem like a death wish rather than a pick-me-up. The bad press is already taking its toll: Coca Cola & Pepsi have registered a drop in their stock prices during the last week, despite the fact that both companies manufacture a whole range of different products other than caffeinated drinks.

Perhaps, a realistic view of the top 10 side-effects of a caffeine overdose would put the matter in a better perspective:

1. Diarrhea

2. Vertigo

3. Tachycardia

4. Hyperglycemia (including blurred vision, drowsiness, dry mouth, flushed dry skin, fruit-like breath odor, increased urination, ketones in urine, loss of appetite, stomach ache, tiredness, troubled breathing or unusual thirst)

5. Hypoglycemia (including blurred vision, cold sweats, confusion, cool pale skin, drowsiness, excessive hunger, shakiness, unusual tiredness or weakness)

6. Anxiety (including irritability, nervousness or severe jitters)

7. Nausea (severe)

8. Vomiting

9. Tremors

10. Insomnia (including restlessness)

These risks are completely incompatible with the symptoms of the 21st Century Headache, to the point that they can actually aggravate instead of assuage the problem. The World Health Organization needs to define this new condition & publicize its findings because incorrectly-identified or misdiagnosed complaints not only constitute a grave risk to life & health, they endanger legitimate economic & commercial progress as well (as is amply illustrated by the financial problems that Coca Cola & Pepsi are facing).